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Today I was pleasantly surprised to find TWO packages for me in my mailbox! The first was an expected one from Motherwear. A new nursing bra! In pink! Let’s hope it’s the right size this time. :p
The other package was from Amazon.com. I was surprised to see a box from Amazon addressed to me, as I didn’t remember ordering anything. I opened it up to find it was a gift from my friend, Granolablonde! (She just started her new blog and would love some extra traffic. So, go visit her blog and say Hi!) She sent me two books, neither of which I’ve read, and they both look very interesting. She sent me:
I’m looking forward to perusing both of these books. I feel like I’ve been stuck in a rut with what I’ve been feeding Curious J, although she doesn’t seem to mind. Still, it would be good for me to expand her food horizons a bit, and these recipes look very user-friendly, so I’m excited! Thanks, girlfriend!
The meaning of the name “Emily” is industrious. It’s a strong, solid meaning, certainly not romantic or glamorous. I made the joke once that while my mother’s name means princess, my name means cleaning woman. Sometimes I wonder if I’m living up to my name, especially when I come to the end of a day and think, “What have I spent this whole day doing?” But then something occurs to remind me that, yes, I really AM industrious … under the right circumstances.
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Since the food for Baby J’s party was, literally, given to me for free on a platter, I spent my night before the party cleaning and organizing rather than prepping food. I sorted and tossed out in a general frenzy of de-cluttering. I worked efficiently, I stayed focused, and I got a LOT done. I was very pleased with the results, and I continue to enjoy the results of my labor. But, basking in the aftermath of all that hard work made me feel a bit dejected, too. WHY CAN’T I DO THAT ALL THE TIME??? Why do I let things get into such a state that a major cleaning/decluttering spree becomes necessary?
I know part of the answer: I just don’t function well without a deadline. I am a person who craves deadlines, clocks and “due by” dates, but they have to be set by an external source, or have people other than my own family involved. I could set myself a deadline, but if there’s no outside accountability, there’s no guarantee that I will follow it. That’s why if I really want to get my house clean, I must invite someone over. (As a side note, this is why homeschooling wouldn’t work for me. I greatly admire people who can set their own schedules and follow them, but that’s just not me. Thank God for our little Lutheran school outside my back door!)
There was a time when I felt guilty about this aspect of my personality, when I felt that there was something wrong with me, something that needed to be fixed. For a while, I even felt that I was sinning in some way. But I’ve come to accept that this is just a part of my personality like any other, and it’s neither good nor bad, neither here nor there. Because, for all that I have a hard time making my own schedule and sticking to it, I have the gift of being able to be very flexible, to go with the flow, to fly by the seat of my pants — and fly well! Situational changes don’t throw me. We can’t do Plan A? No problem! I’ll just create Plan B! I view that as a gift, one that has benefited myself and my family. (Which is why my anxiety and my fears about “What if something goes wrong?” intellectually bother me so much. I know that it’s not me! I know that it’s something outside of me, something chemical or hormonal. Anyway, I digress…)
I have wondered at times if I’m a bit ADD (attention deficit disorder). I fit some of the traits, especially the trait that it’s hard for me to stay focused on things, especially things that are not interesting to me. I did see a psychologist about this once, many years ago, and he told me that I don’t fit the clinical definition for ADD. But after doing some IQ and personality testing on me, my psychologist recognized that I have some unique personality traits that can cause problems depending on the situation. Finally he said, “Emily, you have to learn to love the ‘disease’.” So now, that’s how I try to look at it. I have to learn to love the disease, meaning that I have to accept my personality for what it is. I am thankful for the things I can do well, and I try not to get upset about the things I don’t do well. But I am grateful when a reason to clean and organize and de-clutter presents itself!
I may not be good at keeping my house in perfect order, but I am industrious in other things. I hope I can pass on some of my industrious-ness to my daughters. More importantly, I hope I can help them to find and develop their own industrious-ness in ways that are important to them. Because that, as Martha Stewart says, would be a “good thing.”
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