You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2008.
2008 was not the easiest year of my life. It wasn’t the hardest year, but it certainly wasn’t the easiest year. However it was definitely a year of personal growth. Wisdom always comes at a price, but despite the price, I still believe that wisdom is worth obtaining and that the events I experienced this year were worthwhile.
In this past year, I’ve become less of a know-it-all. I KNOW that don’t know it all, especially when it comes to parenting. I have days when I think I have royally messed up my daughters, and I fervently hope they turn out alright in the end. But in my not-knowing, I have become more sympathetic to other mothers who are struggling to find the right answers for raising their children, too. And in my heart of hearts, I think that my kids are normal and are going to turn out just fine. Their hearts are turned towards Jesus, and that is the most important gift I can share with them.
I’ve learned that an uninterrupted night’s sleep is not a necessity for a cheerful outlook the following day. Attitude really IS everything. And someday, Curious J WILL sleep through the night. My parents recently informed me that I did not sleep through the night until I was 3 years old. With that perspective, Curious J is doing just fine. (But is she decides to start sleeping through the night, I won’t object!)
I’ve learned that when push comes to shove, and I have no choice but to do by myself something that MUST be done, I WILL rise to the task, even when it comes to mothering during anxiety or mothering during the stomach flu or mothering alone as a single parent. I’m stronger than I thought I was.
I’ve learned that anxiety always passes. When I first started experiencing anxiety episodes, my biggest fear was that they would never end. Now I know that they WILL end, and with that knowledge, it makes the anxiety easier to bear. Plus, I’ve learned better ways to manage my anxiety, and I am grateful for that.
I’ve learned … so much from my children. I cannot begin to say how much I’ve learned about myself and my own shortcomings by mothering and observing and interacting with my children.
I’ve been reminded that I married a good man. In so many ways, I really DO have “a keeper.”
I’ve learned that you can continue to live for quite some time without cleaning the bathrooms, mopping the floors, or picking up the stuff that inevitably accumulates. I’ve also learned that a healthy supper served later is better than an inhealthy supper served earlier. That said, it’s better to have a healthy supper served earlier, and that is my goal for 2009.
I’ve learned that I really love blogging. And through my own blogging as well as reading the blogs of others, I’ve learned that I’m not alone in this mothering journey. I used to feel that I was unique, that no one else thought like me in the whole world. For some reason, I found comfort and took pride in that. However, with the realization that I’m just like everyone else, or as my husband puts it, “Emily, you’re so normal you don’t know how normal you are,” I’ve found great comfort and sense of community in being just like everybody else, in being “normal.” Blogging has given me such a great gift in that it has given me peeks into the worlds of other mothers, making me feel less alone.
And, I’ve learned, once again, that God truly DOES make everything in my life work out for my good: the good choices, the bad choices, the happenstance, the purposeful, the occasional, the everyday, the highs, the lows, the surprises, the mundane — it all serves a purpose in my life. I trust that no matter what I do, God will make it work out for my good. I don’t always see how it is good, but if I look hard enough, often I can find some good coming out of everything. I am grateful for a loving God who not only takes the threads of my life and turns them into a beautiful piece of cloth, but who also orchestrated my salvation from the beginning of the world and planned to make me his child. I am so grateful, and I sincerely long for heaven when I’ll be free from the constraints of this sin-full world forever.
But until then, I am grateful to be here, here in this family with this husband and these daughters in this house at this time. I am grateful for all of it. And I look forward to another year filled with learning new things and enjoying God’s blessings in 2009.
I’ll end with a wonderful quote from C.S. Lewis that was written on my daily calendar for today:
There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.
My brother boarded a plane home today. We were all sad to see him go, but so glad that he surprised us by coming. It was so wonderful to have him here for my birthday and Christmas! And, he was incredibly helpful! He willingly washed and/or dried dishes, cleaned up the toyroom after the girls went to bed, took out the trash, cleaned out the cat’s litterbox, and even bought and prepared supper for us one night! (He’s going to make some woman a good husband someday – email me if you’re single and interested. 
) Lyd thoroughly enjoyed having her favorite uncle around. It took Curious J a few days to warm up to him, but once she did, they got along just fine. When we took the Caltrain up to San Francisco on Friday night, J rode in her uncle’s arms most of the way.
So now, life is shifting back to “normal.” The house never did get clean over Christmas retained its “lived-in” look over the holidays, so I’m hoping to spend these next days literally and figuratively sweeping out 2008 in preparation for 2009. Unfortunately, Curious J has been up for two hours at a stretch the last three nights, which has been really draining. Add to that a cold that I finally succumbed to after Christmas (Pulsatilla to the rescue again!), and I’m a really tired Momma.
But tonight we are all back to our usual sleeping arrangements, which means I won’t have to dash into the nursery right away when J fusses for fear that she will wake up her older sister. Lyd is once again sleeping in peace and quiet in the guest room, which should allow her an uninteruupted night’s sleep. Plus, I made sure to feed and water Curious J well today, as I suspect that might have been the culprit behind her drawn-out middle-of-the-night wakings. So hopefully, she (and therefore, I) will sleep better tonight as well.
I leave you with pictures taken yesterday on my brother’s last evening in California. We drove up to the Marin headlands to get pictures looking down onto the Golden Gate Bridge and San Francisco at sunset. Apparently, a whole bunch of other people had the same idea, so parking on the curvy, almost-hanging-off-a-cliff road was … interesting. But the pictures we got were fantastic. In the next day or two, I’ll be posting the personal pictures to my Facebook account. In the meantime, enjoy these shots of the fog rolling in over the GG Bridge at dusk. If you can imagine the loud foghorn blowing out at regular intervals down below at ocean level, you might get a bit of a feel for what it was like:
driving home across the Golden Gate Bridge
Pigeon Point lighthouse
Since my brother is still visiting from Wisconsin, we took a trip to the Pacific Ocean late this afternoon. It was a beautiful day, and we had hoped to see the huge elephant seals that come once a year to Ano Nuevo State Reserve. But when we got there, seal viewing was closed for the day. So, we went to nearby Pigeon Point lighthouse and saw some smaller harbor seals there. After enjoying the view for a while, we drove to a beach just up the road, Bean Hollow Beach. We walked down to the beach and watched the sun set over the ocean.
It was lovely. Enjoy the pictures!
- Harbor seals basking on the rocks below
View of the Pacific Ocean from up on the cliffs
Lyd checking out the ocean below
My brother following a very determined Curious J as she explored
A gratutitous shot of JJ and me - still in love after all this time
My brother gazing off into the sunset
sunset at the ocean
JJ and I started a Christmas tradition a few years ago. The day after Christmas, we take the Caltrain up to the City (San Francisco), and spend some time up there, ending with eating pizza at a great restaurant close to the Caltrain station.
Today we made our yearly trek up to the City as a family. With my brother along, I wanted to do something a little more tourist-y, so after riding to the end of the Caltrain line, we boarded a Muni train that took us along the Embarcadero, under the beautifully lit Bay Bridge, then down underneath the city where we got off at Powell & Market Street. We didn’t realize what a popular station that is! It’s the station closest to Union Square, which is full of big-name stores and home to San Francisco’s big Christmas tree (which was where we were going). With it being the day after Christmas, there were plenty of shoppers. Plus, Powell Street is the end of the cable car line, so there were people lined up for their turn at a cable car ride. And, we were right on Market Street, which is the main street of San Francisco. We got there around 5pm, and it was absolutely CRAZY as we headed up the escalators to the street level where we found a small protest going on (there were about ten people protesting Scientology – not sure why). We wended our way through that as well as navigated the panhandlers, who seemed to be everywhere! San Francisco is known as a city that is kind to its homeless population, but this was more than I’d ever seen! The sidewalks were quite crowded, and Lyd got sternly admonished to stay close to us. I don’t think she much needed that admonishment, however, as she was a little overwhelmed by everything.
At first, I thought, “What have we gotten ourselves into?” But after a bit, once we were headed in the right direction towards Union Square (we wanted to see the big Christmas tree), it got better. There were three of us adults to watch over the two girls, so that was helpful. After a while, it became kind of fun being in this huge throng of humanity. It was certainly evergizing, I can assure you of that! And it reminded me of how big the world is. When you stay home much of the time, and have your small circle of places and friends that you visit regularly, you forget how big the world is, and, for me, what a populated area we live in. But I’m glad I live where I do. I don’t know if I’d want to live up in the City, but it’s fun to visit
It was a four-block walk up to Union Square, where we saw the tree and took pictures. Here’s one of the tree:
It was pretty cool to be there. Union Square is surrounded by big-name stores: Saks Fifth Avenue, Macy’s, Nieman Marcus, and other fancy stores that I can’t remember now. All of those stores were decorated and many had Christmas trees as well. Here’s a picture of Curious J and me with the Macy’s store in the background. Notice the wreaths in every window, and the lights behind their big Christmas tree constantly shifted color:
Next to Macy’s was a Merrell store, which sells high-quality shoes. Even though I hadn’t planned on doing any shopping on this trip, this store piqued my interest, as I was in desperate need of a good pair of shoes, shoes that would fit my orthotics. I had foot surgery at the end of 2005 and have worn custom-made orthotics in my shoes ever since. However, finding shoes that fit my orthotics is a challenge, but Merrell is one store that sells shoes with removable insoles. Those are the kind of shoes I need. So when I saw there was a Merrell store there, I decided that we had to stop there to see what they had to offer.
We went into the store, which was crowded, and I thought in dismay that we would be there forever. However, it mostly cleared out in the first five minutes I was there, and was almost completely empty by ten minutes. I found two styles of shoes that were what I was looking for, and a nice, San Francisco-styled saleslady went to the back to get them in my size. However, she only had one of the two pairs in my size, BUT I liked it, it fit perfectly with my orthotics, and rather than dinker around wondering if I should take them or not, I said, “Sold!” I am VERY pleased, as I have been needing nice brown shoes for over a year. When I find what I need, I don’t worry about whether it’s on sale or not. I get it.
My two daughters were chasing each other around the store merrily (but not causing trouble, I made sure of that. But they both were in need of some time to safely run around a bit, so…), and Curious J tried to turn a corner too fast and took a tumble on the hard floor. She was okay, but it got me thinking that it’s time that she get her first pair of ”real” shoes, as opposed to the Robeez knock-offs she usually wears. I looked around, realized I was already in the kids’ shoes section, so I chose an appropriate shoe, and asked the saleslady if they had this in my baby’s size. Well, not exactly in her size – I buy my kids’ tennis shoes big so that they’ll last them all year. J’s foot is a size 5 and we bought her a size 8 shoe. But I spent $30 on them, so I want them to last for a while! 
It was pretty funny to watch her try to walk in her new shoes for the first time; she looked a bit like Frankenstein’s monster. JJ got a video of it on our camera. But pretty soon (much faster than Lyd did at her age) she was running around almost as fast as before.
After our little shopping excursion, we headed back to the Muni station, got on a train that took us back to the Caltrain station, stopped for a quick pizza supper at our favorite pizza place, and got back on the 7:30 train headed for home. Curious J was tired and a bit fussy on the train, but once she was given her pacifier and her blankie, she fell asleep in my arms.
It was a good day.
I was given the best birthday/Christmas surprise yesterday!
Bear with me, I want to preserve this story for posterity.
In the morning we all had a 10:30 chiropractor appointment. They are super-flexible with appointment times, so the four of us didn’t arrive until about 11am. No problem. We were shown into our room, and we waited patiently. I was in such a good mood that when I saw another woman shown into the adjoining room, I told our chiro to take care of her first. When I did this, I noticed JJ give a big scowl. I figured he had an attack of The Grumps, so I just ignored him.
After our visits, I noticed JJ hurrying us out the door a little quicker than normal, but I figured he had a lot of work to get home to (which he did). So, we load ourselves back into our minivan, and JJ decides he wants to drive. No big deal, but he was rather insistent about it, which was unusual. But, being the Good Submissive Wife (har har) that I am, I “let” him drive.
We get onto the freeway, and JJ heads over to the far left lane on our five-lane freeway. No biggie, but I notice our exit approaching, and we’re still in the far left lane. “Aren’t you going to move over?” I ask, “I have to stop at the post office to mail a box.”
JJ responds, “The line at our post office is incredibly long. Let’s go to the post office at the airport.”
Which makes NO SENSE. The airport is 15 minutes away! How in the world does he know how long the line is at our local post office? I start to argue, because, truly, this makes NO SENSE, but I see that JJ is super-grumpy and determined to do it His Way, and so I decide to leave well enough alone and not fuss about it.
However, this incident gets me thinking. And I realize that Something Is Up. JJ’s impatience at the chiro’s office, JJ’s bizzare logic of going to the airport post office, JJ’s unusual question this morning before we left the house of, “Is Curious J’s diaper bag all stocked?” which he NEVER asks normally. Something is up. But … what?
We hit a traffic jam en route to the airport, and I sense JJ stiffening beside me and getting even more irritated. And I realize that he’s on a schedule. He needs us to be somewhere at a specific time. That’s why he was so irritated at the chiro’s office when I let that other woman have her appointment before us. He doesn’t really have The Grumps. So, WHAT is going on?
Hmm, my birthday is tomorrow. Am I being taken out to lunch? I hope not, as Curious J is going to be hungry and I didn’t bring along any food for her. Did he order some special package or gift for me that has to be picked up at the airport? Gee, that would be weird. What gift would be arriving that couldn’t be delivered to our house?
And then, just as we’re pulling into the airport, I get it.
“Are we picking up my brother?” I shriek, with a voice a good octave higher than usual.
JJ looks at me with a slightly defeated look on his face but also a smile, and says, “It was supposed to be a surprise.”
“But it IS a surprise!” I shriek. “That’s SO COOL!” And I continue exclaiming and shrieking a bit more.
“Except, his flight landed almost an hour ago, and he’s been waiting this whole time!” says my sweet, punctual husband.
But, in another minute we’re driving by the United terminal, and there is my brother waiting for me. I jump out of the car, and shriek again, loud enough for all the other people waiting nearby to hear, and hugs and exclamations of joy were exchanged all around.
It turns out that JJ and my parents were all in on the surprise. Which explains the BIZZARE phone call I got from my mother last week, which infuriated me and ended up in her asking me if I was pregnant(!). Not the best conversation I’ve ever had with my mother. But now, all makes sense.
My brother is staying until next Tuesday, Dec. 30. I don’t know how he got this ticket, I have no idea how much the ticket cost, and I’m not asking. I’m just so glad he’s here!
I asked my brother when he decided to come out, and he said that he had been toying with the idea for a while, but when I stated on a recent blog entry that I didn’t think he would come, I laid out a challenge for him, and then he HAD to come out.
I’m so glad he did! Yay!
(I’ve never had a surprise like this before, and it’s so fun! Apparently my father thought that I should have been told in advance about this and didn’t approve of this surprise. He said, “Half the fun of something is the anticipation.” I agree with my father 95% of the time, but in this instance, I’m glad he was overruled. If I had known my brother was coming, I would have gone nuts cleaning and organizing, and would have been an exhausted mess when he arrived. As it is, I’m still exhausted, but it’s just my “normal” exhaustion. My brother is seeing my house in its normal, lived-in state, but thankfully he doesn’t care. It’s just nice to have him here. And, he’s happy to be here. As he says, anything above 40 degrees is better than the bitter cold weather that Wisconsin is having right now.
It’s 60 degrees and partly cloudy here, damp and cold by my estimation, but warm and balmy to a body used to frigid winter cold. )
I have thoroughly been enjoying listening to our local classical music station this weekend. They’ve started playing Christmas music 24/7. And they play GOOD Christmas music! They’re playing lots of John Rutter carols, lots of carols and hymns in general, fantastic singers (ie. Chanticleer, King’s Singers), lovely orchestral arrangements, and even playing my favorite choral anthem “O Magnum Mysterium” by Morten Lauridsen. It’s been just lovely.
I’ve spent a good chunk of time over the past few days down in the school office, where the copy machine is, as I’m printing off my entire blog as a Christmas present to my parents, who don’t have internet access. Sitting at the computer and listening to this lovely Christmas music has made this task more enjoyable, and is definitely taking my mind off my arm where my carpal tunnel is coming back…
Oh, well. It’s for a good cause. It’s been interesting to skim/read over my whole blog over the past two days. It’s been very inspirational, something I need right now. I am currently “worried and upset over many things,” and it was comforting to re-read Grandma Violet’s good advice to not over-think things, but to just let things flow.
Everything is okay. The Lord has certainly been with me and my family this past year, and I know he’ll be with us again in the future, too. What a comfort!
And all of this with a lovely, lovely soundtrack in the background!
While JJ and I were engaged, I was given the book Rose’s Christmas Cookies for a wedding shower gift. So during our first Christmas as a married couple, JJ and I excitedly pulled out the book and perused through the recipes. When he saw the following cookies, he excitedly proclaimed, “These are my favorite kind of Christmas cookies! We have to make these!” Luckily, they were simple enough for a new bride with little cooking experience to successfully create, and ever since these cookies have been a staple at our home at Christmastime.
What made the discovery of this recipe even more exciting is that no one knew what the recipe was. JJ’s mother did not make Christmas cookies. She was a busy woman who owned her own hair salon, and she didn’t waste time doing something herself when she could buy it already finished. So, every year she bought homemade Christmas cookies from a lady in their small town. These favorite cookies of JJ’s were part of the ones she bought.
They’re simple, easy, and delicious. Just make sure to butter your hands well before shaping the wreaths!
Christmas Wreaths
1/2 C. (one stick) unsalted butter
3 C. (30 large) marshmallows
1 1/2 tsp. green food coloring
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
4 C. cornflakes
2 Tbsp. cinnamon red-hots (candies)
Grease a medium saucepan. Melt the butter over low heat. Add the marshmallows and melt them over low heat, stirring constantly, until smooth. Remove the pan from the heat and whisk in the food coloring and vanilla extract until well blended. Stir in the cornflakes to coat them well. Keep the mixture warm by placing hte saucepan in a large pot or skillet filled with 1 inch of very hot tap water. Replace the water as it cools.
(Emily’s note: I fill a large pan with water while I do the cooking. When the cooking is done, I place the smaller kettle into the larger kettle, so it essentially makes a water bath.)
Working quickly so the mixture does not harden, use 2 greased spoons or lightly greased fingers to drop small (1 heaping tablespoon) mounds of the cornflake mixture onto the wax paper. With lightly greased fingers, quickly form cornflake mounds into wreaths with holes in the centers. Immediately, while the wreaths are still sticky, decorate the wreaths with red-hots.
Makes about 1 1/2 dozen 2-inch wreaths.
Delicious!
This will be my eighth winter living in northern California. (How is that possible??) But, the eighth winter it is, and after all this time, I’ve learned some aspects that are unique to a northern California winter. Such as:
- Not a lot of trees change color during autumn around here, and the ones that do change color don’t start that process until at least October. Once their leaves finally are changed into fall colors, the trees don’t necessarily lose all of their beautifully colored leaves right away, if at all. It’s not unusual to be seeing trees with fall colors in December and even into January and February. I notice it especially when I see a house with lots of Christmas decorations – and trees full of fall-colored leaves.
- It only rains in winter. Up in the mountains (ie. Lake Tahoe), that rain becomes snow, so people often head out of town on the weekends to go skiing. Usually at least once a winter, the snow falls at a low enough altitude so that we can see it on the tops of the high hills east of San Francisco Bay. This has happened over the past few days. I was out driving this morning, and I noticed snow on the tops of the far hills. However, it does not snow at our house.
- The northern CA definition of a “winter storm” consists of rain, wind, and sometimes hail and thunder, too (like last weekend). When it thundered last weekend, I had a moment of panic, thinking a bomb had gone off somewhere in the distance. My meteorologically-minded husband assured me that it was just thunder. Whew!
- Northern CA winters can be best described with two words: “damp” and “cold.” The dampness is heightened for us, since we live fairly close to the ocean. You cannot see the ocean from our house, but as the crow flies, we’re only about six miles away. To actually GET to the ocean, you have to drive curvy Hwy 92 up and down the steep hills, and in good traffic, that takes about 20 minutes. However, the ocean’s near proximity (plus the Bay on the other side of us) has a direct affect on our weather. Winters are primarily damp and cold. I feel like I never get warm all winter long. This damp and cold has affected my health, too. I’ve gotten bronchitis at least once every winter we’ve lived out here, something I never got in WI. And while, yes, I know that midwesterners technically have it colder, I think I am much colder in general here in CA than I ever was in WI in the wintertime. It’s so hard to get warm! Part of this is probably because…
- Houses (especially OUR house) are not as well-insulated out here as homes are in the midwest. Our living room has three walls facing outside, and I don’t believe any of them are insulated. All windows have small holes in the frame; why I don’t know, but they are put in there for some kind of reason. (I asked someone once about it, and they gave me an answer which I have since forgotten, but there IS a reason.) But that means that there is always cold air coming in somehow, as well as interesting bugs, now and then. Our house never gets entirely warm in wintertime. Blech.
- Every winter, we get ants somewhere in our house, usually our kitchen. It doesn’t matter what we do, they find a way in. I’ve asked many, many people about this, and everyone says that they have the same problem. It’s apparently just par for the course when you live in northern CA. The ants arrive in full-force within the week after the first big rain. Last night, bad news, I noticed them in my kitchen. However, the GOOD news is that they’re coming in from the laundry room (which means there’s no food they can get into) and hanging out by my bread machine and ovens in that back corner. They’re not by my stove (like they were one year) or by my sink (like they were at least two years) or in my pots and pans (like they were at least two other years). They’re in a location where, while they’re icky and disgusting, isn’t really changing how I have to work in the kitchen. I appreciate that. We’ve got a bunch of Terro ant traps out, and we’re going to have to get some more, but hopefully this infestation will start calming down in a few more days.
Just another normal winter in northern California.
We happened to have a Red Delicious apple in the house recently, and I cut it up to serve with supper last night. I don’t buy Red Delicious apples – they taste too mealy and bland to me. But, we had this apple in the house, and I decided it was time to eat it up.
After supper, Lyd whined to me, “Momma, I’m still hungry!”
I pointed at the bowl containing the apple slices, and said, “Have some apples.”
“Where are they?” she asked, staring right at the table.
“Right there in front of you, in the bowl,” I responded.
Incredulously, Lyd pointed at the bowl and said, “This?”
“Yes.”
“Mom,” Lyd said condescendingly, as she picked up an apple slice and held it up to me. “Look at this. THIS is not a real apple!”
I guess I’ve raised my daughter with a taste for “real” apples!
(Frankly, I agree with her. I’ve never liked the taste of Red Delicious apples. I much prefer Braeburns, crisp mountain-grown Fuji’s (not the mealy lunchbox ones), Pink Lady’s or, my favorite, Honeycrisp. They’re expensive, but SO delicious!)
(First, a little background. Lyd’s Kindergarten class is going to the local fire station later this week, and all the children are bringing a toy to donate for the fire station’s toy drive. There’s also a local charity that’s connected with some Lutheran churches in the area that I’d also like us to give some food and gifts to. I’ve been talking to Lyd about both events, as well as the concept of ”giving toys to kids who don’t have any toys.” So with that in mind…)
Tonight while taking her bath, Lyd began making up a story with some of her toys, as usual. She asked me to help her make up the story, so I did. Her toys in this particular story were a small, plastic Princess Dora the Explorer with a matching unicorn. Our story, in condensed form, went something like this.
Lyd: Dora and Unicorn are going on a treasure hunt!
Emily: They find a treasure chest! What’s inside the treasure chest?
L: Toilet paper tubes! With lots of colors inside!
E: Do you mean kalidescopes?
L: Yes, kalidescopes!
E: How many are in the box?
L: One hundred kalidescopes!
E: Maybe Dora and Unicorn took those kalidescopes and gave them away to other children.
L: Yes, children that didn’t have any toys to play with.
E: Eventually, Dora and Unicorn had just one kalidescope left. They were going home when they saw a little boy and his mother. The little boy had no toys. What do you think Dora and Unicorn did?
(and without missing a beat, Lyd said)
L: Dora took out her magic wand and made MORE kalidescopes!
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