While on my brisk walk this morning, I made some decisions:

  1. I decided to cancel my homeopath visit.  Yes, it would have been free, but I don’t think my condition is something that homeopathy will really be able to help.  Plus, I have to fill out a four-page questionaire about my health history and the health history of (seemingly) every person to whom I’m related, and it’s a two-hour office visit, and — I just don’t want to do it.  I’m a grown-up.  I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to.  So there.  (And I can reschedule for later if I so choose; my free certificate is good until the end of August.)
  2. I AM going to schedule a visit with my naturopath sometime soon.  I’ve worked with him before, I really like him, and I think naturopathy will better deal with my imbalances than will homeopathy.  Plus, he’s also a licensed acupuncturist, so he will be able to use TCM (traditional chinese medicine) to further find where I am imbalanced.  I think that will be a much better path for me, health-wise.
  3. I am going to continue doing morning walks as much as possible.  They are seriously helping me.  My anxiety is getting a lot more manageable.  Plus, I think my theory that I’m hypoglycemic is seeming more and more correct.  When I am conscious of eating healthy food during much of the day, especially first thing in the morning and late afternoon, my anxiety is a lot less.  I still think I have some underlying chemical imbalances, but that’s why I’m going to go see my naturopath.
  4. I have been doing my own bit of self-psychotherapy, and I think I’m getting somewhere.  I won’t go into much more, suffice to say that I have to accept the fact that I’m no longer a girl (with people around who will take care of me) and embrace that fact that I’m a grown-up woman (who, well, I’m still working on the definition for that one).  But this also means that I can’t please everyone all of the time, that I’m not perfect, but that even though I’m NOT perfect, I don’t have to second-guess myself all the time.  I’m a grown-up!  I can do whatever I want!  I can make my own decisions!  And I don’t have to feel anxious about it!

Can you tell I’ve been getting to bed at a reasonable time almost the entire last week?  Sleep helps!  And apparently there’s so substitute (or supplement) for sleep, so I just have to do it the old-fashioned way.  In my effort to obtain sleep, my dishes aren’t getting done, my laundry isn’t getting folded, my kitchen floor is so dirty it is almost ready to grow a garden, but in the long run, those things don’t matter anyway.  Those chores are never-ending, and even if I catch up and get them done, they will reappear again very soon.  Instead, I’m focusing on the fact that my family is being fed, my children are happy, and my husband is stressed about many deadlines.  Hmm.  That doesn’t fit.  Oh, well, I can’t do anything about that except serve him meals at regular times and do my best to foster a happy home.  And we DO have clean clothes; just go on the couch and find what you’re looking for, okay?  😉

And, I’m psyched because I got to play post-partum doula yesterday afternoon for an hour in a small way.  I love love love it, and it reinforces the fact that being a doula is what I want to be when I grow up (although, yes, as previously stated, I already AM a grown-up.  You know what I mean).  It’s nice to have a goal amidst all the dirty laundry and dirty dishes and general chaos.

I am woman.  Hear me roar!  🙂

Now I’m going to stop roaring and make lunch like a real woman.


2 thoughts on “Raahhhrrr!

  1. 1. Tone down the “Raahhhrrr!” please. I can hear it over in my office and it’s distracting.

    2. Yes, please. Make lunch like a real woman. Your husband will be thankful. He’ll return the favor by grilling out like a real man.

  2. Join the club of unkept homes. If you ever stopped my our apartment unannounced, you would most likely see dishes in the sink, toys, well, everywhere, clothes still in the dryer from the last time I did the wash, newspapers on the table, and PILES of mail on our counter. But yes, we do have food in our bellies, clean clothes on our backs, and (usually) happiness in our home. Would I like to keep it more orderly? You bet. But that’s not the most important part of my day. If I know we are having visitors, I will attempt to “straighten” up, but know that’s not how our home looks for now… (although I have beautiful visions of the future…)

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