I know that I’ve been writing lately as if my anxiety is all gone. Well, that’s not quite accurate. The physical symptoms (ie. racing pulse, innards turning to water, difficulty sleeping) are a lot better, thank you Dr. Sijbrant! But my thoughts… Oh, my thoughts… I still have difficulty with those, although it IS a lot easier to deal with your thoughts when your body is not going haywire on you.
I was priviledged to connect with some friends today via email and phone, and I was gifted with some gems from those conversations, things to remember when I’m feeling, well, when I feel like I don’t have control over my feelings:
- I am not my thoughts. So if my thoughts go where I don’t want them to go and I can’t control them, it’s still okay. My thoughts don’t define me.
- I am not my hormones. So if my hormones are out of whack and I feel miserable as a result, it’s still okay. My hormones don’t define me.
- I am not my children. So if my children don’t do as I want and they frustrate me, I know that their actions (or lack of them) don’t mean that I’m a bad person. I’m still okay, and my children are still okay, too. My children don’t define me.
I came across this wonderful post tonight, called Wilderness, that brought me to tears. The author is right: God is in the wilderness, too. Everything he does for us, everywhere he leads us, is only for our good. I’m still safe in his protecting care.
And like my husband has said to me many times, it’s not that everything WILL BE okay — everything already IS okay.
By the way, my husband declined his Call. We’re not moving.