It is now about 12 hours after my grumpy post of this morning. I am blogging with a clear conscience tonight: my children are both in bed, and my dishes are done. The toys are even picked up! Plus, JJ is out doing a pastoral visit, so I am on my own. I hope to be in bed by 10pm tonight, so this day is ending better than yesterday.
My mother’s helper was not able to come today, which was a disappointment. After the nap fiasco that I put Baby J through this morning, she took a decent (hour and a half) morning nap, but she woke up so late that her afternoon nap never happened. She fussed and fretted in her crib for an hour or so after I put her down, and this time there was no poopy diaper to blame it on. So, she was a pretty tired, fractious baby in the late afternoon. Thankfully, JJ was able to be around and amuse her while I got supper ready. (How does a liturgical husband amuse a baby, you ask? By playing the new “Christian Worship: Supplement” hymns on the piano while the older daughter dances around the living room, of course!)
Lyd and I had a few lovely moments together this afternoon and evening, which helped to make me feel a little better. This afternoon, while Curious J was attempting to nap, I became overcome with tiredness. So, I suggested to Lyd that she and I stretch out on the couch and cuddle/rest together. She liked that idea, so we did. I managed to doze off a bit, and when I woke up 10-15 minutes later (because Curious J was squawking and jumping up and down in her crib in the room above me), I found Lyd asleep in my arms, with her arm gently across my neck in a hug. I cannot remember the last time my firstborn has fallen asleep in my arms. It’s been quite some time, that’s for sure, and it was a lovely feeling.
But, my baby needed me, so I carefully extricated myself from Lyd’s arms, and thankfully she stayed sleeping. (She’s the GOOD sleeper!) When I went upstairs, an overwrought and sobbing Baby J was very relieved to see me. Since Lyd was asleep in the toyroom, I decided to hang out for a while in my bedroom with the baby. We have a few toys in our adjoining bathroom that J likes to play with. J liked the toys, but what she really wanted was me. She wouldn’t let me put her down; she wanted to be in my arms the whole time. So, I sat on the floor and hugged her as she stood up and clutched my shirt. Part of me wanted her to play by herself so that I could read a book or something, but the other part of me enjoyed feeling so very, very needed. There’s nothing like Momma’s arms when you’ve had a rough day and are all done in.
My other lovely moment with Lyd came while she was in the bathtub tonight. I asked Lyd if I could help her make up a story with the little plastic dolls that she plays with in the tub. Well, you would have thought I had just offered her chocolate ice cream! She was SO excited to have me make up a story with her. As we created a story together, part of me felt a little guilty that I don’t do that more often, but at the same time, no one’s perfect, and I’m glad I took advantage of the opportunity when I had it. It made my daughter feel so important and so happy.
Tomorrow I’ll be less whiny. I promise. Thanks for bearing with me today, all of you lovely readers of mine. I don’t know who all the people are who read my blog today, but whoever you are, I hope you felt some kind of connection to what you read and to me. ‘Cause to me, that’s what blogging is all about — making connections, realizing there are other people who feel the same way you do, and thus feeling less alone. Come back and read more again sometime, okay? 🙂