I’m not sure why, but this New Year has felt like a whole new start for me. Never mind the fact that my Christmas letters are still on my kitchen table waiting to finish being assembled (and now I can’t find my six books of Nutcracker stamps I bought a month ago!!!) And never mind the fact that I did SQUAT on my 2008 taxes during 2008 except to pay our quarterly estimated taxes and I have a HUGE boatload of work ahead of me that needs to be finished before March 3 when we meet with our accountant. Never mind that my Christmas tree is still up (well, actually, don’t mind that. I kind of like it. It never finished getting decorated until Dec. 23, so it’s still relatively new to me!) NEVER MIND all of that — it still feels like a whole new start for me.
Maybe it’s because school has started up again, maybe it’s because the anticipation/dread of the holidays is now behind me, maybe it’s because the Christmas treats have all been eaten (except for my mom’s homemade fudge that I have hidden away – don’t tell JJ! :)), maybe it’s because a new Music Together session has begun, maybe it’s because ignoring Curious J’s cries at night is working and she is sleeping better at night, maybe it’s because I’m realizing that my baby isn’t all that much of a baby anymore and I’m feeling the Passage of Time, maybe it’s because Barack Obama is going to become president in two weeks and Change Is Coming. Who knows? But I feel different.
In this different-feeling-state, I’m acknowledging and admitting to lots of changes I want to make in my life. I’m mentally labeling ALL of these as New Year’s Resolutions (which is rather silly, really :)). Yet, despite the massive amounts of changes I want to make, I am seeing small areas progress towards where I want to be.
Having tried many times to make big life changes, both at past New Years and at other times, and after seeing the vast majority of those attempts fail spectacularly, I’m kinder and more realistic with myself in regards to making life changes. I now allow myself to feel proud for even trying, proud for taking any step in the right direction, and I’m conscious that big, permanent change will take lots of time, perseverance, and patience.
But, despite change happening slowly, it has to start somewhere, and I feel pretty good right now. I am hopeful that 2009 will be a good year for me personally. I don’t know what will happen in our church, our nation, or our world, but I’m hopeful it will be a good year for ME.
Just for the sake of checking in with myself, here’s the progress I’ve made on my specific resolutions:
- Plan suppers a week ahead at a time — Done! It’s been a good week to plan meals ahead of time, becuase we’ve had an unexpected guest for supper both Monday and Tuesday nights.
- We eat supper each night by 5:30, or 6:00 at the latest — This hasn’t happened, but we’ve usually eaten no later than 6:30. Considering that some nights we were eating as late as 7pm, I consider this good progress. Even though supper isn’t yet happening quite as early as I’d like, it’s still made evenings a lot easier. Last night I had the dishes done and the toyroom cleaned before the girls went to bed – score!
- I’m going to try to be better at making Lyd clean up her toys — The toyroom is getting cleaned in the evening, and Lyd is helping, but I’ve realized that we simply have too many toys in the room. It makes it really hard to clean up when the volume of stuff is so high. Plus, Curious J is in a “pulling everything off the shelves” phase. Today I moved some of her favorite “pull-off” toys out of her reach, and I plan to do more rearranging and packing-away of toys once the Christmas letters are done. So, I would say that I’ve definitely made progress in this area.
- I’m going to try to watch how I say things around Lyd — This is a hard one. I went to bed last night and prayed for quite a while about how I am interacting with Lyd. It’s not just my words, but my attitude around her. This is worth an entire blog post. Suffice to say, this has been on my mind and heart, and … I guess that’s a good start.
- I’m going to really work on having good posture — I am definitely being more mindful of my posture, although it’s not consistent. Still, some progress is better than no progress, so…
- I’m going to try to get to bed earlier, ideally by 10:30 — Unfortunately, this one isn’t really happening for me. There’s always another email to write, another blog to read, another book to page through. This is a tough one, and its been tough for as long as I can remember. That said, I’m trying to keep in mind that I don’t want to get sick, because if I get sick, it’s a lot harder to take care of my family, plus then everyone else stands a chance of getting sick, too, which is more work for me. I’m trying to remember how my actions affect my family, and using that as a motivation (albeit, a negative motivation) to get to bed.
- I’m going to start wearing perfume again — I wore perfume to church on Sunday, and JJ was nuzzling against my neck almost all day (except at church!) So, score (I think ;))!
So far, so good.