one sexy momma

Apparently, I am one sexy Momma, and I don’t even have to try.

Just before leaving for my 11am chiropractor appointment this Monday morning, I discovered that Curious J had a majorly poopy diaper, leaking all over, mess-o-riffic.  So, already feeling the need to hustle, I had to completely clean the baby, dress her in a new outfit, and get everyone out to the car.  I don’t usually dress up for chiro visits, and today was no exception: jeans, red “Coca-Cola” T-shirt, hair pulled back in a hasty ponytail, and no makeup (not that I ever wear makeup anyway, but today was no exception).

While driving on the freeway, I noticed a Hispanic guy pull up in a red pickup truck alongside of my minivan.  He beeped his horn gently, and I looked around to see what was wrong.  I noticed the guy grinning at me.  When I looked at him, he put his hand up to his mouth like he was drinking, and then pointed back and forth between himself and me.  I didn’t know what he meant, so I just looked away.  However, he beeped again, and did the same actions, this time a little more emphatically.  I shrugged my shoulders, attempting to say that I didn’t know what he wanted, and I slowed down my minivan.

Remember, I’m driving a minivan, with my daughters in carseats in the back.  I have no makeup on.  I have just been practically up to my elbows in poop.   (In fact, two and a half hours later, I think I may still smell like poop.  Yes, it was a bad one.)

The freeway was five lanes wide at that point, and I had been in the lane second from the left, so I moved over to the far right lane and kept my slower speed.  I also managed to put a delivery truck between the ardent suitor and myself, so that he couldn’t see me.  I really didn’t know what the guy wanted, although I figured it had something to do with drinking.

When I got to the chiropractor’s office, I told the two ladies in the front office what had happened, and asked them waht they thought that was about.  One said, “I think he was asking you out for a drink.”  That seemed to make sense, but why?  I’d never seen that guy before in my life, and dude, I was driving a MINIVAN!  And it was 11am on a Monday!

So, apparently, I am one sexy hot momma, that a guy would actually honk at me on the freeway going 70 mph and attempt to ask me out.

Hmm.  Can you say “desperate”?

(But, honestly, the whole story makes me laugh.  I don’t know if I should be flattered or disgusted that someone propositioned me in that manner, but it sure makes for a great story!  Kind of like the guy who left his name and phone number on a napkin at the restaurant where I worked in college, telling me to give him a call and that he drove an Arctic Cat [snowmobile, for those of you non-Midwesterners].  I laminated that napkin and laughed about it for years…)


2 thoughts on “one sexy momma

  1. Apparently the wedding ring I bought you was not large enough for him to see through his dirty, unwashed, cash-for-clunkers pickup truck windows. But I agree with him on the hot mama stuff.

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