Wow. It has been an absolutely crazy week, as evidenced by lack of meaningful blog posts.
This past Monday evening, my husband received a Call (a job offer) to be one of two pastors at a large congregation back in Wisconsin located ten minutes from my husband’s parents’ home. He now has 3-6 weeks to decide whether or not to accept the Call and move to the new location, or to decline the Call and stay here in California.
It sounds like it should be such an easy decision, but it’s not. It’s absolutely not. Whatever decision is made will not be arrived at easily.
There is so very, very much I could say, but this is a public blog, and I will only say so much. I’m not going to say which direction we’re leaning (I couldn’t anyway, since it goes back and forth!), and I won’t announce a decision until my husband announces it himself.
What I can say about these deliberations are this: It’s a roller coaster. Literally. Sometimes he thinks one way, then he thinks another. Much to my surprise, I too have gone back and forth.
My husband has stated publicly that he is not going to decide this Call based on the close proximity to our families. Like I mentioned earlier, my husband’s parents would be ten minutes away. My parents would be just under two hours away. Both sets of parents would love for us to return to WI. But the Call isn’t to be close to our parents; the Call is for my husband to serve at this particular congregation. Family proximity and family desires can’t play a role in that decision.
There is a lot about this Call that seems ideal for my husband. However, there are aspects about his present call that are also ideal for him. There won’t be an easy answer.
This whole Call situation has caused my anxiety to return again. But at least this time, I definitely know why I’m anxious!
If we were to move, I am very nervous about actually packing up the house. We have a LOT of stuff, and a good portion of it could easily be gotten rid of without us missing it. I have wanted to start going through it all for a long time, but I’ve never found the motivation. Frankly, an impending move is probably the only motivation that will actually work for me. But it’s a scary, scary thought.
So, I’m scared to stay here and scared to go there. I’m scared that we’ll let a wonderful opportunity pass us by, and I’m scared that we’ll go and then discover that we were better off staying where we were.
I don’t sound like a very trusting Christian tonight, do I? But deep down, I do trust that this will all work out for good, and no matter what decision is made, I can see blessings and benefits either way. My head knows it, but my heart isn’t there yet. I’m hoping that, sooner or later, it will come around. I think it will.
Please keep my husband and I in your prayers as we deliberate on making a huge, life-changing decision in our lives.