I think that one of the hardest things about parenting is realizing that your children are watching you all the time and learning from what you do.
What’s so hard about that? you may rightly ask.
It’s hard because they not only learn from your good example; they also learn from your bad example. Sometimes, very frustratingly so.
I was reminded of that in a big way this weekend, when Lyd failed to do something, something that she sees me failing to do frequently.
I was frustrated and angry with her, but I was even more frustrated and angry with myself. She was simply acting as she has seen me act. Or, in this case, as she has not seen me act. I haven’t set a good example for her, and I haven’t been good about encouraging her to do this thing correctly, either.
So, she was the one who did wrong, but whose fault is it really? Hers? Or mine?
Those moments are difficult. Parenting seems to be a daunting task. How am I every going to properly raise this child when *I* can’t even do the behaviors that I want my child to do?
Parenting involves teaching one’s children, to be sure. But I’m starting to believe that, even more influential than one’s direct teaching is one’s indirect teaching. I never realized how much I myself would have to grow up when I became a parent. Well, I guess I knew it would happen, but I never realized it would be like this.
Althought, frankly, I didn’t even realize I needed to grow up in this way until my child so accurately and innocently pointed it out to me.
There’s nothing like being a parent to make you realize what a flawed person you are. Perhaps that’s why God gives us kids – to make us finish growing up.