on my own

JJ has been gone the past few days to Wisconsin to attend a Symposium on Worship and Outreach(And to go to a Packer game, but that was just a lucky coincidence. :))  In the past, when he’s been gone and I’ve played “single mom,” it’s been an extremely anxiety-provoking experience.  I’ve dreaded his trips away, and I’ve fought a lot of nerves while he was gone.

However, this trip has been very different.  Not only was I barely nervous at all at the thought of him being gone, I’ve been okay with the reality of him being gone.  I’ve had a few mildly anxious moments here and there, but overall I’ve been just fine.

One thing I did differently from other Single Mom experiences was to have an official Girls Spa Night with my daughters on Sunday evening.  We all took a bath together, I did the girls’ hair afterwards in braids so that they would have crimped hair the next morning (something Lyd has wanted for a while).  We read stories together and painted our fingernails and toenails.  (Actually, the nail painting happened the next night because we ran out of time, but it was still fun.)  It was wonderful to have some girly fun with my two girls, and they both really enjoyed it.  Lyd especially had a good time.

I don’t know why this trip of JJ’s has been easier for me to handle.  I’ve been feeling more balanced overall, so that’s probably part of it.  But I’m grateful to have had such a relatively easy time of it.

JJ will be home tomorrow, and we’ll all be glad to have him back again.  Today as we walked out to the mailbox, Jujubee asked me, “Where’s Daddy?”  Tonight when he called, she was SO excited to talk to him!  Lyd was equally excited, and she happily chatted to him non-stop.  JJ and I talked for a long while tonight, about dreams and hopes for the future.  It’s odd, but we sometimes have longer conversations over the phone when he’s out of town than we do when we’re together.  It’s not that we don’t talk when we’re together, but there are so many other distractions that can derail a conversation, but when we’re apart and we only have one certain time to talk on the phone, it greatly reduces the distraction factor.

I’ll be glad to have him come home tomorrow evening.  It is always nice to have our little family together again. 🙂