Have you ever done something that you knew was stupid and probably going to end up causing you more problems and/or heartache in the end, but you just couldn’t keep yourself from doing it anyway?
If that has ever described you, then I know just how you feel.
I did something really unwise last week, then obsessed all week about whether a certain event would happen, and then nothing happened. Amazingly, my obsessing did nothing to change the outcome of the event. What a surprise.
Learning to be content with where one is in life can be one of the hardest lessons for a Christian to learn. Or maybe it’s just me. There are so many things in my mind that I can think of that if they were just changed, THEN my life would be greatly improved. Yet, if all of those things really were changed, I’m sure I would come up with a new list of things that I would now like changed, thank you very much.
It seems that learning to be content with what I have and where I am in life, and learning to believe when God says, “Be still and know that I am God,” is really difficult for me. Which is probably why God seems to be sending me lots of opportunities to practice.
The other Bible passage that comes to mind is one from Psalm 27: “Wait for the Lord. Be strong, take heart and wait for the Lord.” For a person with my personality, who doesn’t like to wait for things, learning to “be still” and “wait for the Lord” is definitely not easy.
It’s a comfort to remember one more section of Scripture that applies, and it happens to be the passage that JJ and I chose for our wedding. I don’t think we had any idea how apropos this passage would be for our lives when we chose it, but it certainly does continue to apply. It comes from Ephesians 3: “To him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…” So many things in my life have turned out to be more than I could ever have asked or imagined. Everything has turned out well. And when I fret and get impatient, it’s like I’m telling God, “I don’t think you know what you’re doing anymore.” But I know that’s not true, and I really don’t want to be telling that to God. It’s rude.
So, now that I’m humbled and embarassed, it’s time to repent and start over again, trusting God to work out all the details of my life. And, as my pastor-husband reminded our congregation in his sermon today, it’s also important to not just think about myself and my own life as I pray. I should be praying for the work of missionaries around the world, for Christians around the world, for the growth of God’s church everywhere. Life really isn’t all about my and my little world. Life here on earth needs to be focused heavenward.
It’s a good thing that God is faithful and just, full of compassion and mercy. I’d be lost without him.