good advice

Every so often I pop in over at the blog Single Dad Laughing.  Near the end of last December, the author had a post titled “Grandparents say the Wisest Things,” consisting of wise advice his readers had received from a grandparent-aged person.  Here are some of my favorites from that list:

~ “Sometimes you have to whisper in order to be heard.”
~ “Bring children up the way they are bent.”
~ “Take it slow, because you can never go back to the sweet thrill of simply holding hands.”
~ “The only way past this moment is through it.”
~ “I’ll try anything twice because I might have done it wrong the first time.”
~ “Measure twice…cut once!”
~ “Marriage isn’t 50/50, it’s 100/100.”
~ “The man is the head of the household…but the woman is the neck.”
~ “It’s better to be hated for who you are then to be loved for who you are not.”
‎~ “You’ll never leave where you are until you decide where you’d rather be.”
~ “Once you say it, you can’t take it back.”
~ “Always accept a gift from a child.”
~ “You can’t really love someone unless you love yourself.”
~ “Choose your friends wisely. It’s not your enemies that will get you into trouble.”
~ “Stop talking, start listening.”
~ “Teach your children to do without you.”
~ “Consider every word and action from your significant other as a precious gift… if you don’t, someone else will.”
~ “Never make someone a priority, when all you are is an option.”

Here are the pieces of advice that spoke to me the strongest:

~ About worrying: “Don’t cry over tears that haven’t even started to form.”
~ “If you have one leg in the past and one leg in the future, you [mess] all over today.”

These two maxims have different ways of saying the same message.  I feel that their message is to stay in the moment; focus on the moment, not in a pleasure-seeking way, but in a way that acknowledges that this is where you are now, and you might as well live in this God-given moment.  That’s a hard one for me.  All of the “what-ifs” in my life can threaten to overwhelm me at times, and it does no good to focus on those “what-ifs.”  I need to continue to work on being present here in the now, lest the moment passes me by and I realize I missed the beauty of that moment with my worrying about the future.

Finally, the piece of advice that made the biggest impact on me was this one:

~ When arguing with your significant other: “Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?”

That’s a difficult one for me.  And I’ll talk about it more tomorrow….