getting some zzz’s

I don’t know why I am this way, but I really resist going to bed at night.  I’ve been this way as long as I can remember, definitely back to high school.  I like to stay up and do one more task, read one more chapter, do one more thing — all to keep myself from going to bed.  But at the same time, I enjoy being actually in bed, stretched out under the covers.  Once I’m in bed, I’m happy to be there, but I keep thinking I’m missing out on something by being in bed.

Lately, through my own fault and through the fault of others and through no one’s fault, I’ve been getting to bed really, really late.  It’s starting to take a noticeable toll on me.  A few nights ago, when I knew I needed to be in bed, I tried to picture how wonderful it would feel to be stretched out under the covers.  That visual image did help me get myself ready for bed and actually climb into bed.  I’ll have to use that trick again in the future.

Getting enough sleep will help so many areas of my life, and I so easily forget that.  In the midst of my fleeting thoughts of “I want to do ______ now!” I forget my long-term goals.  I am just not one of those people who can stay up late anymore and get away with it.  Those days are over for me.  I’m getting older, and I have to accept that (especially if I’m wanting the stork to ever show up at my front door again).  Plus, when I’m so tired, my anxiety shows up again.  It hasn’t been a problem, but just lately I’ve noticed the faintest tinge of it in the evenings.  While I know plenty of ways to keep anxiety at bay, I know that one of the most effective and healthiest ways is to get enough sleep.

So, tonight, I’m going to recommit myself – again! – to getting to bed.  I don’t know what about my personality makes this difficult for me, but I think it’s a goal that is worth recommitting to as many times as necessary.

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