Two years ago, I started a women’s online book club. The first book we read was called For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn. It was a fascinating book for me, and I learned a lot about my husband, as well as most men, by reading this book. This book has had a very positive impact on our marriage, and I learned useful information about how men think that I might not have otherwise learned.
A few weeks ago, our local evangelical Christian bookstore was having a “going out of business” sale, so I made a point to stop by to see if there would be anything that I would be interested in buying. As I was perusing the shelves, I happened to see the book For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by Shaunti Feldhahn and her husband Jeff. Without any ulterior motive other than to have the companion book to For Women Only, and because it was 50% off, I bought it.
I paged through it when I got home, and I was impressed by the ideas that the authors, mostly Jeff, presented about how women think. Most of it seemed to fit me pretty closely. When I next saw my husband, I showed him the book, told him the story of how I’d found it, and asked him if he’d be interested in reading it. “Sure,” he said. I wasn’t sure if he actually would read it or not, but he actually did read it. I noticed him reading it at bedtime more than once, and I noticed the book left open on his nightstand. However, like Jeff Feldhahn predicted in the book, JJ didn’t talk too much about what he’d read. When I read For Women Only, I kept peppering my husband with questions and asking, “Is this true?” every time I discovered something new in the book. But it seems that men tend to think and process quietly on their own. JJ never asked me any, “Is this true?” questions, but I noticed a subtle shift in some ways he acts towards me. When I mentioned the changes, he said that those changes were suggested by the book, and then the opportunity was created to talk about what he’d read.
JJ and I had not been having the easiest time with our marriage in recent months. External stressors took their toll on our marriage, plus we haven’t always made our marriage the priority it should be. However, I feel very blessed that I just happened upon this book when I did; it has been a positive factor in slowly shifting our marriage back to a happier place.
Now things have gotten better between my husband and I. We’re the most “in sync” with each other that we’ve been in quite a while. It makes me glad that we chose from day one of our marriage to stick together and make our marriage work, no matter what.
I’m also thankful for little interventions by God. I’m sorry that this bookstore closed, but had it not been closing, I likely wouldn’t have gone in that day. Yet, I did, I found that book, and it’s proven to be quite a blessing for us.