still walking to save my sanity

Back in March, I wrote this blog post, titled: Walking to Save My Sanity.  I talked about how important daily exercise was for me to keep my anxiety at bay.

As I’m settling into life at our new house, and as the school routine begins again next week, those walks are becoming important again, perhaps even more important than before.  Because I can tell my anxiety is trying to come back.  My default reaction to life’s stressors is, and probably always will be, anxiety.  When I am in high adrenaline times (ie. the move itself, WELStock, individual activities that get me out into public and out of the house), I’m usually okay.  The adrenaline and/or excitement carries me through.  But once the adrenaline wears off and the excitement fades away, then I have to take care of myself or the anxiety comes back.

At some point in the weeks before our move, and definitely in the weeks that followed, including during our time in Wisconsin, I decided to stop taking all of my supplements.  Initially, I was simply forgetting to take them, as my normal routine was so thrown off with the move.  And then I got sick not long after the move, so I didn’t take them while I was on antibiotics.  But, after that, I realized I had been off of everything (except my vitamins, but I wasn’t even taking those as regularly as before) for a while,  yet I was sleeping better than ever and my anxiety was pretty low.  So, I decided to stay off of them and see what happened.

I took my supplements along with me to Wisconsin, but I only used them once or twice.  I was really okay.  But now we’re back in our new home, the adreneline rush and excitement of the summer are pretty much over, and I’m having to fight the anxiety.

Re-reading the post I linked to at the beginning of this post reminded me that anxiety is my default.  That’s just how the Lord has seen fit to have me be.  Most people don’t see it, because when I’m around people, my adreneline rises, and then I’m fine.  (So perhaps I need to be around people most of the time! :))  But it’s hard when I’m on my own at home.

And I’m going to be on my own a lot this fall.  Lyd AND Jujubee are going off to school; Lyd is in second grade, and Jujubee is going to start morning 4 year old Kindergarten.  It breaks my heart that I’ll have no child at home; I’m not ready for that yet.  Technically, I could keep Jujubee home another year, but she is so ridiculously ready for Kindergarten that I can’t justify doing that.  So, I’m going to be home alone all morning with just boxes to empty and stuff to organize.

This, my dear readers, is a recipe for disaster unless I take precautionary measures.

A morning walk is going to become an absolute necessity.  Especially if I want to try to stay off my supplements and herbs.

(Why bother trying to stay off supplements and herbs, you ask?  Well, because I really would like to do it all on my own.  I’d like to try to get my body in balance the old-fashioned way: good food, exercise, enough sleep, and just a multi-vitamin.  But the other, equally valid reason is that there is likely no longer the money to do the supplements and herbs that I did do.  I want to try it on my own, and there’s no better time than now to do it.)

So, sleep, exercise, and three square meals a day with three nice snacks thrown in.  That’s what I’m going to need to do to see what happens.  If it doesn’t work, then we’ll figure something out so that I can feel okay.  But I hope, I truly hope and pray, that this works.

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