I’ve been a pastor’s wife for eleven years now. I’ve heard lots of stories from other pastors’ wives about their good and bad pastor’s-wife-experiences, and I’ve experienced a few stories of my own. However, on the whole, my experience so far has been very, very good. I haven’t been able to share in many of the complaints of other pastors’ wives, especially the often-heard complaint about their pastor-husbands being gone so much of the time.
For the past ten years, my husband was the pastor of a small church, and it was a unique situation. We lived on the church property, and because our congregation was so spread out (and because rush hour traffic was always SO bad), there weren’t a lot of nightly meetings that my husband was involved in. There were only a small number of committees, and while the downside of that was that much of those things had to be done solo by my husband on his own, the upside is that he didn’t have to go to frequent meetings. If I needed something from him at almost any time of day, he was 30 feet out my back door, or sometimes he was working on his computer in our house. He was readily available to me (perhaps TOO available!), but we usually had each other around. He worked a lot in the evenings, but if I needed him or just wanted to talk for a while, he was close by.
Now, we don’t live on the church property; we live in a residential neighborhood just under a mile from church. It’s a big church, and while he’s not involved on every committee or board (of which there are plenty!), he’s actively involved in more committees than he was at our old church. There are more meetings, and most of those meetings are at night. There’s also a Monday night service every week, and he’s involved in that service almost half of the time. Part of my husband’s role at this new church is to be the choir director (which he is VERY excited about!), but that’s another weekly night gone. (And I can’t be in choir. The kids need to be in bed between 7:30 and 8:00, and I don’t have a babysitter. :() Tonight he’s at a meeting for something. There’s a lot more meetings at this church.
So, now he’s gone more, and he’s unavailable more. Now I HAVE to be sure supper is on time, because there are meetings he has to go to. Life is just different here. However, honestly, this life is more what I always expected my life as a pastor’s wife would be. But I had ten years of a very different, very laid-back pastor’s-wife-life, and I got pretty used to it. Now I’m home alone in the evenings after my kids are put to bed, and JJ isn’t close by to talk to.
This life may be that of a typical pastor’s wife, but this new life is going to take some getting used to.