catching up, again

Seriously?  It’s been over a month since I wrote on this blog?  To those faithful readers who keep waiting for me to say something profound – or to at least say something! – I apologize.  I do mean to write.  I just, well … sigh.

This has been a difficult month in many ways.  My pregnancy is not going as comfortably as my previous two pregnancies have, and I’m having a difficult time with that.  Dear reader, nothing is wrong, there’s nothing for you to worry about; it’s just that being pregnant at 35 is not as easy on my body as it was when I was pregnant at 26 and 30.  I keep waiting for it to get better, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.  Nothing is particularly bad, it’s just not as magical or as much fun to be pregnant this time around as it was my last two times.

Accomplishing tasks now takes more energy than it used to, too.  At the end of the day, I usually only feel up to watching HGTV or an episode of “Friends” on DVD.  I’m not usually up to pouring out my soul on the internet.  Or sometimes JJ and I will start talking.  He’s a busy man, that husband of mine.  He’s just as busy as he was at our former church, if not more busy.  Thankfully, he’s still willing to share events of his day with me, and he doesn’t mind – and even seems to appreciate! – hearing my thoughts on those events.  That’s a blessing.

My girls are doing well.  They are ridiculously excited about the new baby.  It’s really heartwarming to see, and it is by far the best part of this pregnancy experience.  Jujubee in particular is SO excited to become a big sister!  She’s going to be wonderful at it, I can already tell.  Both girls are being so patient with waiting.  They’ve known almost from the start that I was pregnant, and nine months is a REALLY long time in a little kid’s world!  But they’re doing SO well at the waiting.  They’ve both gotten to feel the baby kick over the past week, so that’s been an exciting development for them.

I suppose I’m a little lonely here.  I miss my friends from our former home, and I still feel like the new kid in school as far as our church goes.  I’ve got a few good friends, and I’m thankful for that.  I have good friends who were long-distance at our former home, and they’re still long-distance now, so in that regard, nothing has changed.  But, I do feel like I’m a little more on my own here than I was at our old house.  I liked living on campus; I was always close to whatever action was going on.  Now I live off-campus, and while it has good things about it, it IS a different experience.

In all actuality, I probably need more to do so that I will get more done.  I have difficulty getting done the things I need to get done, so it seems counter-intuitive for me to say that I need more to do.  But I think I am one of those people who get more done when I have more to do.  However, that’s impossible for me right now.  I get tired so easily and need so much rest, plus I’m having a baby in four months, so adding more to my schedule now is highly unwise.  Oh, well.  This stage of life won’t last forever, right?

But I am so incredibly blessed with two wonderful daughters and a very understanding husband.  Over the past months, I’ve begun to appreciate (more than I perhaps have in our entire twelve years of marriage) how JJ’s and my differences actually work to make us a stronger couple.  We are different in so many ways, and there was a time when that was really difficult for me.  But thankfully, I’m now learning to appreciate how that actually works in our favor.  We really are a good team, and I’m happiest when we’re able to do things together and be in sync with each other.  I really do like having him as my husband, and that’s a blessing to be able to say that after being together for twelve years.

Ironically, right now I’m in the midst of a five-day stint as a single mom.  JJ is in Michigan consulting for a School of Worship Enrichment weekend.  Since I handle the vast majority of the day-to-day running of the house, I hardly notice he’s gone in that regard.  But I miss conversing with him, and the girls miss having him around, too.  Still, it’s not a bad change of pace to just be completely on my own.  My anxiety has kicked in a bit, but overall I’m fine and sort of enjoying the time on my own.

I really do mean to write more frequently on this blog, especially to write about the girls.  This blog is, after all, my “baby book” of sorts for my girls.  They are both so charming right now, and I love them more than ever.  I am so grateful to have my girls; they are truly gifts from God.

Speaking of girls, our new baby is going to be … a boy!  Wow.  I’m still getting used to that.  I understand girls, and I adore my girls, and I can’t help but wonder if I will love a boy as much as I love my girls.  I guess we’ll find out.  But, as I always say, God sends the right baby at the right time, so I guess God thinks that this baby is the right baby for us, summer timing and all.  And I’m sure I’ll grow to love this boy baby just as much as I love my girls, even if I can’t quite see now how that will be.  God always sends the right baby at the right time, right?  😉


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